I’m absolutely terrible at writing a journal. I really am. I love writing, I love having my journal and all the paper and everything, but I never keep up with it. So I’ll type instead. Maybe this will work. I want to keep track of my journey from now till…I don’t know. Till some point. So one day I can show my kids and they can have a glimpse of their mum’s life.
Currently, I’m a little underwhelmed with life. I’m 18, I’m just about finished school, I’m waiting on God to guide me into the next step, but still not really knowing where to go. I know what I want to end up doing – loving children, somewhere in the world, hopefully the U*raine or other parts of Ea*tern Europe, where orphans, the abandoned, and children with special needs are treated as the lowest of society. But I not only want to love them and care for them as my own, I want to change the whole culture. I don’t just want to fix the problem, I want to stop the problem from happening in the first place. How I do that? No idea. But I know that God is also a lot smarter than me and if I just wait on him and let Him work, everything will fall into His perfect will and His plans will prevail. Just this morning I was reminded of His words to us, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will direct your paths.” – Proverbs 3:5-6.
Trust is a tricky thing. But I’ll learn. He will teach me. I’m pretty down at the moment, but once you’re down isn’t the only way you can go up?